Tales of Two Women Too Different

I had just finished reading Iran Awakening, by Nobel Peace Prize Winner Shirin Ebadi, when I picked up Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Both women, both mothers, have something to say.  Fortunately and unfortunately, that's about where the similarities end.

At first glance, it's easy to guess which book is the bigger $eller. Tiger Mother's cover practically screams TAKE ME SERIOUSLY while the cover of Iran Awakening is almost serene; a delicate pink flower fades into a creamy background.* In both cases, you can judge the books by their covers (at least a little).

Chua's severe parenting style and staunch conviction that her way, even if it's not exactly the right way, is a better than any namby-pamby (Western) parenting made her an ideal talk-show guest. That and a few choice sound bites (She made her kids practice violin and piano on vacation! Even the dog disappointed her!) sent her book straight to the best-sellers lists.

Yet, if you read it,** you know it's a paginated frozen dinner - there's very little inside, and it won't fill you up. Chua's writing is zippy and easy to read, but readers are left asking, where's the beef? Even if you ignore the lack of substance in light of her, um, engaging style, what about the book's deeper flaws? Like some other readers, my cognitive dissonance alarm went off, loud.

Did I expect too much? I don't think so. Chua's book doesn't sound like it was written by a Yale professor, or anyone who claims to have high standards regarding reading, writing, or thinking. Rather than being insightful or truly thought-provoking, Chua just provokes, mostly by taking cheap shots at a very general notion of Western culture. I was very interested - I'm still interested - in the topic Chua broaches (vast cultural differences in parenting styles) but her disingenuous handling of it disappointed me so much, I probably won't go there again. Certainly, not with Chua as my guide.

I'd leap at the chance to hear more from Shirin Ebadi. Admittedly, her writing is far less engaging than Chua's; also, I can't package Iran Awakening in a sentence, let alone in six words.

Ebadi has much to say. So - I can only assume - does Chua. Sadly, Ebadi says it, but we're unlikely to pay attention. Meanwhile Chua demands our attention, but says little that deserves it.

As a reader, I'm thoroughly annoyed. As a woman and a mother, I feel cheated.

And yet.

Ebadi's story is rich. So what if it's not as easy to swallow as Chua's barb-laced creampuff? Like a good meal, a good book requires some work on the part of the writer and the reader. Look, convenience food exists for a reason, but there's nothing like a really nourishing, well-crafted plateful of food - for thought.

Here's the rub: BOTH books could have offered a great deal of food for thought. Ebadi's did, but it was served without sizzle. Tiger Mother sizzled plenty but left us hungry and desperate to ditch the bad aftertaste.

The prologue to Shirin Ebadi's Iran Awakening kept me reading. The Nobel Peace Prize winner starts her memoir with a little ditty about doing legal research for a particular case, when she was reading government documents and came across the one that ordered her execution.

In the writing business, that's called a "page turner."

Except it wasn't presented at the bottom of a page or at the end of a chapter where zingers like that are so often planted.

Ebadi's story, almost unbelievable from a westerner's perspective, was full of stunning understatement. It suffered from the author's almost clinically detached delivery. Even when the events she describes are gripping - and they often are - the author's voice is nearly emotionless. About mid-way through the book, I imagined that it might be the only way she could tell her story.

Because Ebadi grew up in Iran, the country, customs, and politics she describes - while nonsensical to me and my Western sensibilities  - are familiar to, and clearly better understood by, the author. Iran was, and is, her home.

Also, as the well-educated, hard-working, thoughtful mother of two suggests in the text, she knew the country's leaders weren't exactly.... making sense. If Ebadi had let her emotions rule her head, she probably wouldn't have been able to work (defending political protestors) or survive (prison, among other things). Or write about it, and raise her daughters.

Ebadi's cool head allowed her to not only survive, but to change the world. In Iran, she produced change one family at a time. In the US, she had to sue the Treasury department and change the law to have this book published. Too bad she didn't change her delivery and her volume, just a bit, at the same time. More people should hear what she has to say.
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Attention book clubs that focus on parenting, motherhood, or culture clashes: Iran Awakening alone, or both of these books together, will fuel your discussions way past the appointed "end" of your meetings.

*The art is from a Persian miniature created for the Qajar dynasty in the nineteenth century. This refers to the Random House Trade Paperback. Other covers are similarly subdued. **Don't read it; it's not worth your time. If you want to learn more, see The Wall Street Journal review and excerpt published here.