Books about Bullying

Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies by Jay McGraw (AKA Dr. Phil's son) is a good book about bullying to hand your kid. But I bet there's something better...

Life Strategies talks directly to kids - not parents - and the emphasis is on relating some important messages. Chiefly, "you're not alone" and "the situation isn't hopeless." On those accounts, it succeeds. However, I don't think it delivers on its title's promise. It's very short on practical advice about how kids can successfully handle bullying situations.

The primary advice - and it's good advice - is "tell an adult."

I'm happy about that, and I repeat, it's really, really good advice! So, if your kid is reluctant to read much on the subject and this one is palatable to him or her, by all means, grab it!

Still, bullying is a big problem and while "tell an adult" is good advice it's after-the-fact advice.  I'm looking for books on what we (kids AND adults) can do to alleviate, mitigate, reduce, or just plain wipe out the problem. How can we raise kids who don't bully? And raise kids who aren't bully-magnets?

Got recommendations? I'm all ears.

Parents Guide to Minecraft Reviewed by Admitted Non-Gamer

Think you need a PhD to figure out what Minecraft is all about? Well, maybe you do, maybe you don't. Dr. Lisa Regula read The Minecraft Guide For Parents by Cori Dusman, and now she's well on her way to understanding not only the game, but also the people who play. 
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I have to start out by admitting my own bias, as a sort of disclosure - I’m not a gamer.  I’ve only started getting into board games even the slightest, and I’m still staunchly not a fan of video games; some have accused me of not knowing how to relax and have fun.  At the opposite end of spectrum is my husband, who was a serious video gamer up until we came to this town for grad school.  He made a reasonable recovery while he was in grad school, but has since been slipping into gaming habits, but with board games this time.  Thus it was no surprise when games for our (then seven year old) son became a fairly big point of contention in the house.  I wanted to wait until he was developmentally ready for video games; my significant other wanted to just let him have at it. 

Sig-o won; I came home one day last summer to find them playing LEGO Star Wars on the PS3. 

Now that Pandora’s Box was opened, we began the refining process of what games to allow, under what rules, for how long, etc.  Every parent out there knows the drill, I’m sure.  Eventually, child’s preferences also became clear, and Minecraft has been a staple ever since.  We have the pocket edition for iPad and for Android, but have been struggling with limits and, frankly, our child’s obsession with the game.  It’s not just playing the game at this point, but talking constantly about the game, drawing and planning for the game, trying to convince us to give him more time for the game.  I was hoping that this book would have a little bit of advice on how to handle all this (and maybe some hints to help him do the tougher stuff he wanted to do).

Whew.  And here you thought you were reading a book review, not a confessional, huh? 

The book itself is pretty comprehensive.  It covers building advice for parents, really basic details on Minecraft for those of us who are only being pulled kicking and screaming into the Minecraft world, technical details of purchasing and installing Minecraft, information on online communities, and- most importantly from my perspective- suggestions for improving game behavior, limiting obsession, online safety, conflicts around the game, and even addiction (no, we don’t think it’s necessary to put our son in a 12-step program yet, but the summer’s only half done).

The topics are addressed thoroughly, but not extensively, so your questions are answered (or you have tools to answer those questions) without feeling drowned in details.  The glossary is helpful in letting parents and kids speak the same language and better communicate with each other and other gamers.  The parent-child computer contract is something that sig-o and I are looking forward to trying with our child, but it’s still a work in progress.  My biggest critique is that, like most other Minecraft books I’ve found, this is written very much for the computer-based game, so not everything is applicable to our editions.  From a marketing perspective, this is part of the brilliance of Minecraft, having stripped down but free or cheap options seems to open up the game to a more diverse gamer group.  In reality, it serves as a dealer’s first, cheap sale to get you hooked on the item.  And believe me, most of the kids I know with the cheap versions end up spending a significant amount of time whining that they want to be able to do what all their friends can do on the computer version, which is very not-free/cheap.  Dusman’s son was 11 when he found Minecraft, and I have no doubt that that is a far more appropriate age to begin gaming- and her discussion of the game is from that older child perspective- but the issues that Dusman brings up and gives suggestions for can be applied with or without modification to a wide range of ages.

As games go, Minecraft is a better option than most of what else is out there, and this book is a great introduction for parents to the world of Minecraft, no matter what level their kids are at.  I’m still not sold on video games as wonderful, amazing things that every child has a right to play, but this is definitely a “know your child” area; my child is prone to obsession and fixation, and gets emotionally ramped up easily (as do I).  For more laid back kids and parents, this might be less a problem.  Either way, The Minecraft Guide for Parents is a solid tool with well-researched advice that has real potential to help families cross the turbulent water of computer game negotiations. 

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If I could play video games, I'd create a world called Thanks and send Dr. Lisa Regula an invitation to join - as a trusted player, course, and I would certainly not rig it with dynamite. ;) Seriously, I'm no gamer and yet I'm raising one, so my gratitude runs deep for this, Dr. Regula's second guest review on this. The first explored another world I've yet to enter, where I suspect my son will venture, too. 


## Follow my reading adventures on Facebook, Tweet along, or tell me you want your review here - guest reviewers are always welcome in my world! No dynamite, I promise. 

Free Help: Improving Your Child's Reading (and Learning) Habits

If you've ever wanted to explain subject and predicate agreement to an impatient elementary school student, have I got some sympathy for you!

I also have a website to recommend: K12Reader Reading Instruction Resources for Teachers & Parents.

In addition to simple instructions and free worksheets (with answer keys) the site also includes reading recommendations, by grade, as well as more than 20 book award lists, from Caldecotts to Golden Kites and a few I'd never heard of.

Have fun with that reading, grammar, and spelling homework. Just remember to let your kids do some of it...

~Diane Stresing

Help for struggling new readers (or over-achievers)

Got kids who need a little help with reading? Try some of the suggestions you'll find at Starfall. The site was launched thanks to a former reluctant reader and so effective it made the education section of Time magazine's current  50 best websites list. Visit the site to find free (yes, free!) fun and games and a good shot at reading improvement. Recommended for K-2nd graders.

Got over-achieving readers? You know - the 4th-grader who can handle any adult title, but maybe not the context? Librarians can be your best source of recommendations. Don't overlook those "older" titles, like The Phantom Toll Booth and Stuart Little. Vocabularies have changed a bit over the past few decades - enough to slow down a young (eager) reader and to teach a few new words along the way.

They'll thank you when it's time to take the SAT.
 

Twits and old friends

I've thoroughly enjoyed some "old" books so far this summer, all of which were new to me. I wonder how many parents have introduced their elementary-school age offspring to The Twits?

Almost certainly best-known for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl's whole list is worth reading, and I encourage you to look beyond the titles that have made it to the big screen.

Dahl's unique take on things is at least amusing for young readers and at times quite insightful for parents reading along. The Magic Finger and The Twits are my current favorites. (The Twits, detailing worms in spaghetti and other revolting but hilarious antics of the disgusting couple, would likely appeal to many reluctant readers.)

What old books have become your new favorites to recommend this summer?

Which ones do you plan to read with your kids before they go back to school?

Kids' Stuff: Reading & Typing

Summer reading. It's highly recommended by teachers and parents everywhere. Yeah, yeah. We know. While I'm a very enthusiastic supporter of the whole reading thing, I'm taking a break from that lecture to remind parents that keyboard skills are important to a child's education, too.

Here's a fun typing game for kids I found recently. Maybe your kids will appreciate a break from your particular lecture repertoire, too?

http://www.clubhousemagazine.com/games/type-logger

Lilly's Not Just for Girls!

Gender defender: Lilly's got something to say to kids.

I'll admit it; I usually buy the old children's book advice that girls will read about boys but boys won't read about girls. Kevin Henkes' lovely mouse Lilly is one good reason to ignore that advice. Case in point: Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse, Greenwillow Press (c) 1996. I am embarrassed to admit I never read it to my daughter; I am making up for that omission by reading it MANY times to my son.

In fact, Lilly has become the leading lady in my quest for books about going to kindergarten. The title doesn't convey a fraction of the story; the purse is a mere prop. This is a book about loving school - and then having a terrible day that makes you hate school, hate your teacher, hate yourself... and you parents know what happens next. Child learns something. Has an aha! moment. Learns something important about her/himself. Sorta the whole point of childhood, you know?

Look; I'm babbling. I'm always overjoyed to discover a truly delightful author - and beside myself to open a book that speaks directly to my kid! (Thank you, Mr. Henkes! Thank you!) So, since I'm clearly incapable of a decent, succinct description, here's the summary from the book's title page:

"Lilly loves everything about school, especially her teacher, but when he asks her to wait a while before showing her new purse, she does something for which she is very sorry later."

Before kindergarten starts my son needs to learn a little more anger management. Lilly is just the lady for the job - heavens knows mom's lessons have failed!

Give Kids a Sporting Chance

An article in some magazine (Health, maybe) really spoke to me this weekend. The article was about kids and sports, and as a new-on-the-coaching-side-of-the-field parent, it hit me right between the eyes with this little tidbit:

Most parents are surprised by their own emotions when they watch their kid(s) play sports.

No kidding.

So after gobbling up a bunch of idiots-guide books about coaching soccer earlier this year, I've added a few books to my read-and-recommend list. They are:

It's Just a Game! (You say it to your kid; why don't you follow this classic advice?)

Whose Game Is It, Anyway?: A Guide to Helping Your Child Get the Most from Sports, Organized by Age and Stage, by Richard D. Ginsburg

101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent, by Joel Fish


Over the years, I've also recommended Parenting Young Athletes the Ripken Way by, of course, Cal Ripken. It's a quick read, and it's not all about baseball. While the message is a simple one, Ripken repeated it enough, and with enough conviction, that it really sunk into my thick head: the game is for the kids, let them play.

I've tried to let this be my mantra. I've tried.

And I offer the list above for other parents who want to try. Trust me. In a few years, you'll be glad that there aren't a lot of home movies featuring your screaming face, hollering as if there was a Superbowl ring (and mega-bucks endorsements) hanging on the outcome of a JV game.

Your kids might appreciate it, too.
- - - - - - - - -

If you're tired of screaming (ahem - coaching) your kid but he (or she) really wants to get better at soccer, consider Epic Soccer Training by 3-time Adidas All-American Matt Smith. The program is designed for players at every level (hoping to make varsity as a freshman, maybe?) and offers money-back guarantee if you don't like it or don't get results.

Are We Having a Ball?

Not exactly.

Ever since my neighbor talked me into co-coaching our kids' Micro soccer team (thanks, Allison) I've been perusing the shelves at my local library, begging other coaches, and scanning the internet for soccer books for kids and new coaches. I've found quite a few, and some are good - but so far, none are "great."

And I need a great deal of help!

A "Micro" soccer team consists of four- and five-year-olds; in most cases, they are co-ed teams. After flipping through a LOT of books (see below) it seems the key is to get them to play and have fun. Running laps, standing in line for drills, even passing is too much to ask at this age - and way too dull.

The first book I found was an e-book, Fundamental Soccer for Clueless Parents, and it really is for very-bare-beginners. Which was ok by me!

There are some great web resources, including:
http://www.kidsfirstsoccer.com
http://www.usyouthsoccer.org

Anyone have any others to recommend? I'm all ears. And our first practice is Friday...

Update: the season went great, and we're still having fun - the vast majority of kid on that team are still playing, eight years later. And have moved on to more qualified coaches ;)


Got a soccer player at home willing to work to get better? Here's a training program I came across recently that is designed for soccer players who are willing to work to "level up" and improve their skills and reach their goals (like making varsity!). Guaranteed results; 8 week money-back offer. See you on the pitch!